Matter of Feeling

We eased into 2021 with optimism and excitement of a New Year, new hope… The promise of vaccines on the horizon giving us the ability to control the virus and give our freedom back. However, this optimism was dashed only days into the year and we were placed back into lockdown. A complete anti-climax, disappointment and frustration.

Many people were ready say ‘good riddance’ to 2020, but for the families, who I have had the privilege of welcoming to classes, 2020 was a special year of celebration with the arrival of their bundle of joy, although slightly tinged with Covid anxiety.

It seems unfair that everyone has dissed 2020 as a bad year. For some, families were made complete as their new parent life begins. It’s been tough as expectant-mums had to attend appointments alone, or perhaps the birth not being quite the birth they wanted or feeling they weren’t quite as supported they should have been. But they got through this. For many, I welcomed many new parents virtually, and feel sad I never met them in-person and not giving them the full in-person experience they deserve. But I still believe I was able to guide and teach them skills and make them not feel so alone. When I finally was able to resume face to face classes for that short time, numbers were reduced to allow distancing. New mums feel robbed of a maternity leave with the freedom to attend a plethora of baby classes, parent groups, mum-coffee-meet ups. Baby businesses feel robbed with not being able to welcome new mums to actual classes. Baby groups are the places you meet other mums, develop firm friends for life, share experiences and realise it’s not just you feeling that way!

But on the flip side, it’s a relief not feeling the pressure of having to attend all these groups and classes. Just taking the time slowly to enjoy your baby, getting to know them and strengthen that bond. Able to take time, reflect on what you have and around you. Some Dads and partners have had to work from home, so given the added bonus of spending extra time with their new baby and supporting mum, or perhaps annoy the hell out of them! The rare opportunity to spend time with family. But this patience and finance can only last so long….which can then cause additional strain.

When we were placed into tier 4, children/parent groups could potentially continue (rules were a bit sketchy), but the infection rate was rising rapidly, a more transmissible variant. I was uneasy offering in-person classes and decided to move online again. A heavy heart decision, and feeling like I’m letting mums down, but I didn’t want to have to start/ stop as before. As it turns out I was right, (damn, I’ve never right) and lockdown has meant classes cannot go ahead. I’ve given up worrying what’s going to happen. I’ve become more confident delivering classes viz Zoom. But I’m not sure how long I can keep this brave face.

So, it’s a matter of feeling as to how you feel about 2020 and what it brought. Perhaps a baby boom? Let’s hope so.

Whenever you slow down, to see life is passing by. This moment’s madness is sure to pass….Matter of Feeling by Duran Duran